The Benjamin Franklin Inversion

Benjamin Franklin had a rival who spoke against him publicly and cost him a position he wanted. Franklin needed to turn this enemy into an ally, but he refused to do it through flattery or kissing up. Instead, he wrote the man a letter asking to borrow a rare book from his library.

The man sent the book right away. Franklin returned it a week later with a thank‑you note. The next time the legislature met, the rival walked up to Franklin and spoke to him for the first time. Franklin later wrote that the man “ever after showed a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we became great friends, and our friendship continued to his death.”

This is famously called the Benjamin Franklin Effect. When someone does you a favor, they like you more afterward. The reason is not gratitude or reciprocity flowing from you to them. The reason is internal to the person doing the favor: they resolve an internal conflict by deciding they must like you, because their behavior suggests they do.

Dale Carnegie analyzed this dynamic in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People. He argued that when you ask someone for a favor, you signal that they have something you lack—intelligence, knowledge, skill, resources. The request is a form of respect. It raises their status in the interaction and makes them feel important, which increases their willingness to help you again.

The pattern works like this: behaviour shapes attitude more powerfully than attitude shapes behavior. Most people assume it only goes one direction: you help people you like and ignore people you dislike. The research shows the reverse is equally true, and often stronger—you come to like people you help, especially when the help was voluntary and direct.

The word “direct” matters. In the study from Lesson 1, when an assistant asked people to return the money on behalf of the department, their liking for the researcher went down. The personal connection was broken. The request became transactional and impersonal, and the effect faded.

This is why generic, fully automated testimonial requests do not work as well. They remove the direct ask. The customer gets a templated message that could have been sent to anyone. There is no personalization, no acknowledgment of their specific experience, no recognition of their unique position to provide valuable feedback. The request feels like a checkbox in your system, not a conversation between two people.

The Benjamin Franklin Effect only works under specific conditions. The favor must be small enough to be reasonable. Franklin asked for a book, not a car. The request must come directly from you, not through an assistant or faceless automation. The relationship must have some foundation, even if neutral. And the ask must signal respect for the other person’s judgment.

Testimonial requests meet all four conditions when structured correctly.

• The favor is small—you are asking for a few sentences, not a long essay.
• The request can be personalized and direct, even if the delivery mechanism is digital.
• The relationship exists because they are your customer.
• And the ask inherently signals that you value their opinion enough to feature it publicly.

The part most businesses miss is that asking for a testimonial strengthens the relationship more than it weakens it. You gain social proof for your marketing. They gain status from being asked and featured. The exchange is not extractive; it benefits both sides if you frame it that way.

The frame is everything. If your request sounds like “I need something from you to help my business,” the dynamic is extractive. If your request sounds like “I want to understand your success and document what worked,” the dynamic is mutually beneficial.

When you use Say About Us, make sure you send a personalized message with your collection link. The message should reference their specific result or milestone. The tone should be conversational, not corporate. The request must come from you, not from “The Team” or “Support.” The technology handles the collection process without removing the human element that makes the Benjamin Franklin Effect work.

The principle is simple. People like doing favors for people they are starting to like. The act of doing the favor speeds up the liking. Your discomfort with asking is preventing you from triggering a mechanism that improves customer loyalty, not damages it.

Action Step: Rewrite your last testimonial request using the direct ask principle. Use the customer’s name. Reference a specific result or milestone they achieved. Ask for their perspective on what made the difference. Do not use template language. Do not make it sound like it was sent by a system. Make it clear that you are asking them specifically because their experience matters to you.